Q: I saw your column in the Philly News. I would like to subscribe to it and ask for your advice, if it makes sense. Or, perhaps you can steer me in the right direction for advice.
My wife of 38 years announced a divorce on Christmas Day. She is moving out of our house next week. The reason is that our daughter and her boyfriend will not permit her to spend time with her daughter and grandchildren because I disapprove of our daughter's extremely abusive boyfriend. They have repeatedly told my wife that she needed to get rid of me and continue to financially support them in order to be able to visit them. So after yet another year of not being able to see our family, she agreed to their request. I can't stop it, so I have to accept this painful situation and move on. I would like to have a special person in my life. I don't want to be alone. I am 65 years old. How do I go about finding the right person? Where should I look for a new mate? Thanks in advance.
Mia: Certain dating sites such as OurTime.com specialize in mature singles. But while you expand your options, don't completely give up on your family. Yours isn't the first relationship to be tested by a demanding adult child. Your wife is being financially bullied and manipulated by your daughter and her boyfriend. They've already driven a wedge between you and her, so you need to act now before it becomes permanent. Get her into counseling with you before it's too late. Remember that grandparent alienation is real. Contact Alienated Grandparents Anonymous immediately for support.
Steve: Stay busy. Join a book club. Or a yoga group. Something for brain, something for body. Don't seek out a lover. You can't make every woman love you (listen to Bonnie Raitt sing "I Can't Make You Love Me.") Seek out a friend. Keep doing it and, at some point, the friendship will become love.