Steve: Been there, done that. My dad dumped my mom when I was 12. My mom — with me and 3 kids who were each 5 and younger — was outraged. Every day. Every minute. Mom screamed and yelled and tried to ban everyone. My dad was lousy, but he never screamed at us, never tried to make us part of the fight. Can you guess who got more time? Make your kids number one. Don't block them from seeing their grandparents and mom. Step beyond your anger for your ex-wife. Tough, yes, but you won't regret it.
Mia: Since family togetherness can be overrated, I suggest you show up for dinner even if only for a little while. If even that's difficult maybe swing by for dessert and then take the kids out to a movie.
Mia: Your friend Alison broke the girlfriend code. That's a lowdown. And now you're trying to maintain a friendship with both of them? You're foul as well. By continuing your friendship with Alison, it's like you're saying that you're OK with how she treated the other woman. Susan should dump you for that.