DEAR ABBY:

My wife, "Kate," and her sister, "Judy," do not get along, to the point that my wife refuses to be in the same room with her.

I have a class reunion coming up, and Judy is in my class.

Because we're not sure Judy will show up, Kate has said she will attend - but she'll leave if Judy arrives.

We had planned on going in separate cars so Kate could escape if necessary. But now she says if Judy puts in an appearance, she'll be upset with me if I don't leave with her.

I don't get along with Judy either, but I'd like the chance to catch up with other classmates.

Kate feels my not leaving with her would demonstrate a lack of support.

I don't want my wife's antipathy toward her sister to cause me to be penalized. What to do?

- In the Middle

DEAR IN: Remind your wife that it's your reunion, not hers. Tell her you plan to go and catch up with your former classmates, and if she'd like to accompany you, you would love to have her at your side.

If Judy shows up, it will be two against one. But if seeing Judy would be too upsetting for her, you'll understand if she decides to stay home. It's her choice.