Q: I love Valentine's Day but, as usual, I know my husband isn't going to want to celebrate it. He calls it a Hallmark holiday and just another marketing ploy. He'll go to work the way he always does, then come home, eat and then spend the night in front of the TV before coming to bed around midnight. The next day, he'll get up and do the same thing all over again. Me, I could use some romance. I'm too young to be sitting on the couch all the time. How do I get through to him?
Mia: Yo, his attitude stinks. It pisses me off when guys expect you to get all into the Super Bowl and serve great snacks and cheer for their silly football team, but when Valentine's Day comes around, they're in meh mode. Get outta here with that. Dude is stuck in his ways and isn't going to change and since you can't change him, change yourself. Plan ahead for Feb. 14. Book a massage or else meet up with friends for drinks after work. Buy yourself red roses and anything else you want. In other words, make yourself happy. Don't wait for him to do it. That's a recipe for misery.
Steve: Romance (perfect love) is never for real, but neither is sports. Yet both can be enormous fun if you pay attention. A good husband, no matter how many years married, tries to re-live those early dates: You've met, you're attracted, you've lit the fire. Eyes gaze into eyes. You share a drink. Listen to music. (If it were me, I'd suggest the Temptations & Supremes doing "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me.") It can be at least as much fun - likely more - than the Super Bowl. Tell him, Steve suggested it.
Q: I'm having a one of a kind love affair, the kind of love you read about in a fairy tale, but here's my problem: My girlfriend has broken up with me three times. Now, for the third time, she wants me to take her back. Having had my heart broken that much I don't know if I can trust her. But no other women I've been dating seem to fit so well with me. What do you suggest?
Steve: If you loaned me money twice and I didn't pay you back, would you lend me a third time? Of course not. Now, unlike loans, not just any woman can get to you the way this one does. So I understand where you're coming from. Here's a thought. Are you and this woman in your 20s or 30s? If you're in your 20s, it may be worth a try. We are all learning, about love, about life, in our 20s. But if she's in her 30s, your odds get worse. Most humans get better with experience. Some never learn.
Mia: What's that old saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Go on back to that flaky woman and let her break up with you again. You seem to like the abuse. When you finally get tired of it, you'll move on.