Former FLOTUS Michelle Obama talked up her New York Times Best Selling memoir, Becoming at the Wells Fargo Center Thursday night. The night was revealing: When Barack Obama showed up as an intern at her Chicago law firm, Obama told the crowd, she thought he was cute, but was determined to keep him in the friendzone. She was a striver, she said, obsessed with following all of the safe rules laid out before her and that didn’t start to find true happiness until she started to “swerve” or buck the buppie — black urban professional — mantras.

Obama talked about about how many in her family saw their hopes and dreams dashed by racism and how it impacted her dreams. And she implored, no insisted, that all of us — especially young people — remain steadfast in our authenticity no matter what kind of shortsighted “stay in your lane” warnings may appear. Obama’s advice was the kind of love-filled words of wisdom from the wise older sister or favorite aunt.

Here are some of her gems.

  1. On not letting the unknown get the best of you: “Don’t be driven by fear. Learn to live in that fear. Fear is what keeps us growing.”
  2. On how she was able to turn on the charm while on the campaign trail, even with haters in the wings ready to tear her down at every turn:  "I believed that if I sat down with people and I was truly myself then they had no choice but to love Michelle Obama.”
  3. Advice on how you too, can land a hubby like Barack Obama: “Ladies: Take time to get to know a man. Let him unpeel himself to you. You can only fake being a good brother for about a month.”
  4. On how she became whole in her relationship with the former Prez: “I had to anchor myself, I didn’t want to be an appendage to his journey. I had to know who I was.”
  5. On why it’s important to believe that everyone — especially women and minorities — should always believe in themselves: “At every table I sat at, I saw a bunch of mediocrity and I thought to myself, ‘I’ll be doggone. These people don’t know what they are doing and they are really just trying to keep you from doing it.’ That’s the secret: They are scamming you.”